Every time I have to take my car into the shop, I shudder.
My mechanic friend threatens to bomb my vehicle with stick figure decals. His idea came from my wanting to personalize my vehicle so I wouldn't be constantly trying to drive away in someone else's ride.
I already drive a "soccer mom" vehicle - a grey SUV. I think over 75 per cent of vehicles on the road are grey. It's not flashy. The last thing I need is for three stick figure decals to call my rear window home. Nothing screams "mom" more than that.
I want something subtle like rims or a trailer-hitch...anything to make it stand out to me so I won't get into my vehicle just to realize I don't have leather seats.
I am not proud to admit this, but in the past two years, I have entered other people's vehicles thinking it is my own more times than I have fingers on my left hand.
So, my mechanic friend had the idea to put a stick figure family on it.
If you've been nowhere near a road in the past few years, or you've been fortunate enough never to notice them, these are stickers purchased and attached to a vehicle's rear windows, for whatever reason. I'm still trying to figure this one out.
Though, they aren't as disturbing as truck nuts, eyelashes or mustaches, I dislike them. I find them dorky and nauseating.
Apparently, police in the US agree, but for a different reason.
Recently, in the US police are urging people to remove the stick figures from their vehicles as they could be giving criminals the information needed to rob or hurt your family.
Who knew those happy little stick figures could be so dangerous? Well they are, because they give entirely too much information away, apparently.
For instance, you live in a dwelling with two parents? Interesting. Three children? Cool. A dog, perhaps a cat? Wow!
In this day and age of personal branding, it also speaks volumes about the pride you have in your family. That's fantastic! Go ahead and keep your stick figure family if it makes you happy, or makes your kids feel special, or whatever reason.
Stick figures have no place on my vehicle. I love my two children. They know this, and to me, that's all that matters.
Hey, mechanic friend... after writing this column, I'm glad my vehicle is in perfect working order!